Biblical Parenting Tips

Fill in the blank:
“Parenting is like___________________________.

If you wrote “ . . . a warm bubble bath after a day at the spa” please call me. You're crazy.

     Let's admit it: parenting is often a difficult, challenging journey. There are days we wonder,“Will I make it? Will my kids turn out OK?”

     The purpose of this column is to give you hope, and to give you some tools. Tools without hope make our hearts sick. Hope without tools exasperates.

     First, hope. Look at me, “YOU CAN DO THIS!” The Lord is with you. I know it may not feel that way sometimes, but He is. And if your children are still very young, time is your ally-just ask anyone whose kids are twenty-something how long it's been since their kids were babies. They'll say it seems like yesterday. Scripture describes our lives as a vapor. I'm writing this on the day my daughter Sarah turns 20. That can't be! Wasn't it just last night that I was walking her to sleep? I can still smell the baby powder and feel her head on my shoulder. So press on, Moms and Dads. Keep doing what is right, day after day. Because when our days are all added up, we will name them. They will either be called “precious memories” or “if only.”

     Now for some tools. My children may obey me pretty well, but do they have the same respect for others when I'm not around? Say, for example, the babysitter? If not, then the children are not just misbehaving, they are learning how to manipulate and not get caught; this practice will clip their character development. Try this: The next time you use a babysitter, privately seek their help with a child-training matter by asking some specific questions. Reassure them that speaking freely will really help you (consider paying the baby sitter before you ask the questions; and add a tip).

      Here are some suggestions to get you started
1. If there was a time tonight when my child did not obey you on the first request, and with a pleasant attitude, would you please tell me about it?
2. Would you say you noticed any difference in the way my child responds to me and the way he responded to you? If so, can you tell me an example?
3. If you observed the children having conflicts with each other, what were the situations? For example, were they selfish with toys? Was there any hitting or name calling?

     And don't forget the positive questions
4. Are there some things I should praise and reward my children for tonight?
5. Was there a lot of laughter and fun with each other?

     If some negative behaviors are uncovered, just get the facts. Our natural tendency is to rationalize our children's misbehavior, and not even realize we're doing it. So listen, with kind eyes, and don't shoot the messenger. Explain to your child that he should obey those who Mom or Dad have put in authority over him, and give examples-even role play-to teach him what that looks like.

     [Caution: children are to obey unless they are asked to do something they know is wrong or feels wrong to them. In that case they are to say “no” and tell you all about it, even if a baby sitter or relative tells them not to or threatens them if they do. This caution is for another article; but you need to be aware. Here we're just addressing general behavioral matters.]

     Learning to be under authority at an early age is important because it is one more stepping stone on the pathway that leads our children toward the Savior. Obey parents, obey authority, obey God, live under God's blessing.

     When we link respect for authority, obedience, and wisdom, our kids will develop along the pathway of righteousness. Righteousness brings us into God's presence; and in His presence is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11).

Summary

Take hope, you can do this! One daily vapor
at a time.
Find out how they behave when you're
not around.
Don't shoot the messenger; don't excuse behavior.
Proper respect of earthly authority leads to
abundant living under God's authority.